“Every day I’m hustlin, Every day I’m hustlin!”
This is my alarm that goes off every week day at 8 pm to let me know it’s time to work on Miss Sistanomics items. It even went off the other day at church revival and those Christian stares are something serious lol….Ooops. Anyway, I am all about maximizing my time. I’ve gotten it down to a science…almost ( more to come on that in another post) but the past few weeks have been a STRUGGLE.
This is me being transparent…
this is me admitting that I’ve have the blog about GOALS written out but haven’t been able to post because life happens,
this is me attempting to take off the being a strong woman mask because life happens
AND it’s just as important to understand how to LIVE than it is to be a HUSTLER, BOSS, CEO, or anything of the other names we have for ourselves. We have to recognize that sometimes we have to slow down and as my fav Myleik says, feel the feels.
When we are running from dealing with our feelings, we kick whatever our natural drivers are into overtime. I am naturally a doer and let me tell yall….I have been doing the most at the 10th degree. We celebrated my grandmother’s 75th birthday this past weekend. The party was AMAZING! I love my grandma so very, very much. I wanted her day to be perfect. I believe it was but I missed it. I never had an opportunity to sit down, to enjoy the moment, to cherish the family and friends that were there because I was soooo busy doing. The past few weeks at work have been so busy as well. I am in sales and numbers matter.
Numbers=commission and I am. About. My. Money. My partner and I have been running hard and I have been dirt tired.
I told you this back story so you have a better understanding of what’s being going on in my life. Thursday, everything came crashing down on me. It needed to happen. I knew it was coming. I always have a delayed reaction to bad things that happen in life. A trigger hit and the top blew off. I had to feel my feels. I constantly tell myself, watch your tongue, don’t get sensitive, keep it together, brush it off, FIX YO FACE but we all know that doesn’t always help situations. Life knocked the wind out of me and it is what it is.
As a woman, I feel compelled at times to just keep it together.
We always are looking out for other people’s feelings while sacrificing our own. We’ve got to learn how to take care of our minds and be okay with not always being okay. Family, friends, bae, and everyone else will disappoint you. It’s okay to feel that disappointment. Mrs. A (aka my therapist) has taught me that I don’t have to apologize for how I feel. I don’t have to feel guilty for including and excluding people in my life. It’s my life. It doesn’t mean that making those decisions are easy. I understand that trials and tribulations will come and if they didn’t, we wouldn’t have testimonies. People you love will enter and exit your life and it’s okay to grieve them. People will disappoint you, you will disappoint yourself, it’s okay. You get to determine how long you grieve, no one else. If you are mad, it’s OKAY! Now, I am not saying that you should stay in any of these things FOREVER, I am just saying be okay with feeling your feels. Let the tears flow, eat the carbs, go get you a churro caramel crave from Cold Stone (yes, that is actually a thing and it’s bomb), and that glass of wine if you want it.
I may have written this post strictly for myself and I am okay with that.
BUT, I hope that someone out there can relate.
I titled this, “Live Through It,” simply because God sent me the song Thursday. I work with headphones in and I turned on my music and it was the song that played. I didn’t choose it, it just was there. I don’t know how because I was listening to Kendrick Lamar on my way into work (HUMBLE is my JAM) lol.
God worked that thing out huh.
I’ve sung the song many times before but the words never touched me as much as they did that day. I had to get up from my desk and gather myself as well as praise God for just being him. The words say, “ Live through it, Grow through it, Get through it, you can make it if you just PRAY through it. Don’t let this be the end for you…so LIVE through it.”
That right there was confirmation!!!
We can run hard, hustle, and do everything we can to be successful but LIFE will happen. Instead of trying to avoid it and drive ourselves crazy,
we have to CHOOSE to LIVE through IT.